What do Cliteracy and Erotic Fiction have in common?

 

 

Cliteracy101I’ve just read the Huffington Post online project #CLITERACY . I have to admit, as I read the article, I was astonished to discover that the medical profession had deleted the clitoris from the main textbook Grey’s Anatomy in 1947, and that in other literature there was so little mention of what the clitoris actually did (while there was heaps of info out there on how the penis produces pleasure). In fact, it was only in 1998 that Australian urologist Helen O’Connell published findings that rocked the medical world. Through dissection, she’d mapped out the clitoris in its external AND internal entirety, demonstrating not only its immense size (it’s comparable with the penis), but its sizable stock of nerve-endings,  far more than in the penis.

I’m sure those findings surprised a lot of people. They surprised me, and, probably because I don’t have a penis, I’d assumed that because of all the hype around male orgasm, it had to be SO much more powerful than female orgasm. Not so!

What wasn’t a surprise was the survey that said as many as 75% of women can’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. In fact, only 8% can reliably orgasm that way. I already knew this from anecdotal discussions with other women. However, I really don’t think men know this, and when they’re complaining that their women aren’t interested in sex, it could well be because they’re not satisfied by it.

I loved this quote from Ian Kerner, a sex therapist who wrote She Comes First (great title for a book!)

“Because the intercourse discourse does not privilege clitoral stimulation, many women do not orgasm consistently during partnered sex,” he said. “As a result, many women do not enjoy sex as much as they could, are less incentivized to have sex and also feel ‘sexually broken.’ Such is the power of the intercourse discourse that women are compelled to fake orgasm instead of challenging it.”

There are rows upon rows of books detailing sex positions that seemingly require the flexibility of a Cirque du Soleil performer. But the straightforward advice, “Play with that organ which boasts 8,000 nerve endings,” is somehow too pornographic or terror-inducing to emphasize.”

I love that!

Social-card-1-13f3c6b77a44328fcb11bc15b10cf009So the fact of the matter is that touching the clitoris (not dry – it needs to be lubricated or it’s uncomfortable) is the way to go. And I really feel that erotic fiction (written by women) can be such a fabulous educational tool for helping couples learn how to please each other. Fifty Shades of Grey – love it or hate it – put women’s pleasure into mainstream conversation, and that’s a fabulous thing! So many women shared that book with their partners.

I’d like to encourage that, in my own small way. Please, if you read my books, share them with your partner.

Enjoy!

And do some research into the clitoris. It’s crazy for us to be ill-informed when the info is so readily available.

My erotica was banned (a personal story)

I’ve been writing erotica for a few years now, exploring ideas and situations that interested and aroused me, trusting that they would find an audience of readers who were also interested and aroused by them. I’d been doing well, then Amazon and Apple decided to ban a short story of mine, and suddenly everything changed for me. I began second-guessing myself as I wrote, and felt like I had a censor on my shoulder saying “That’s unacceptable” while I was in the drafting stage, which other writers will know is the death of creativity.

Stella LARGEI let myself be influenced by an arbitrary judgement against my work – a judgement, I might add, that seemed to have no relevance to content of the story banned. Other stories I’d written had far racier contents, but this short story – Stella – had handcuffs on the cover, and a blurb that read: Tris isn’t the smartest bank robber in town, but this particular mess isn’t his fault. It was pure bad luck that the sexy teller he was menacing turned out to be Stella, his long-lost first love – someone who could easily identify him. Tris kidnaps her to keep her quiet, and gets more than he bargained for, but will he also get what he’s always wanted from Stella?

(*spoiler*) It’s a story about lost love, and how we change so much that the people from our past sometimes can recognise us when we see them again. Tris hasn’t lived up to his potential, and he’s so stressed about being a bankrobber and how that will look to Stella, he fails to notice that she’s turned into an even badder-ass than he has, and she’s about to give him some filthy payback for his awkward sexual menacing in the bank. It’s funny and sexy and romantic and Stella most definitely wins the day. But it was banned, and I’m still not sure why. I loved it so much I made it the FREE short story, to encourage people to try my work, and I wonder now whether that had anything to do with it. Although that doesn’t explain why Apple pulled my Darkly Delicious Short Story anthology, which also contains Stella. No, I think they just saw “bankrobber” and “kidnap” alongside the cover picture of underwear and handcuffs and drew their own conclusions.

An article on book banning came up on my radar today: http://www.npr.org/2013/09/22/223174127/banned-romance-whats-so-bad-about-happily-ever-after It talks about books that have been banned in the past and how often it was men doing the censorship, and that books about sexual adventurous women who have a happily ever after like Fanny Hill and Lady Chatterley (of Lady Chatterley’s Lover) were banned.  In contrast, women who suffered unhappy endings after leaving their husbands like Anna Karenina, Clarissa and Madame Bovary were approved for general sale.

There seems to be a feminist slant to the above argument, that men have been responsible for repressing female sexuality. Maybe that’s true. I don’t know. What I do know is that I don’t like anyone telling me what I can and can’t read. The rise of the ebook reader has meant reading privacy. I’ve seen how that affords women the chance to read whatever the hell they want without anyone telling them romance is stupid or erotic is mummy porn. I like that freedom. I want variety and personal choice. So censorship worries me – particularly censorship that seems so arbitrary.

I don’t want to fight this, however. I firmly believe that What you resist, persists. I want to accept that my book has been banned. I’m okay with that. I just need to find a way back to the unfettered writing I had before this started. At the moment, that’s hard.

Reviewing erotica – are you key shy?

reading kindleAfter the success of 50 Shades of Grey and the novelty of erotica being openly purchased at Woolworths and Walmart, you’d imagine readers would be less embarrassed about reviewing erotica, but it’s a sad fact that erotic fiction is still lagging in the ‘word of mouth’ department.  Sure, there are specific reviewers and book bloggers out there who specialise in erotica, and we who write it are more grateful to them than words can express.

But what about regular readers of the genre? Why aren’t they reviewing erotica? Is it embarrassment? Fear that whatever they say will reflect on their own sexuality?

Try writing the stuff!

But seriously, it concerns me that my erotic fiction doesn’t get the reviews it would if it was romance or crime. And it also concerns me that people are so self-conscious about reading erotica that they won’t put an opinion on it in print. My novels have certainly inspired controversy among the readers who have reviewed them, polarizing opinion between:

“…clearly the product of a brilliantly fecund sexual imagination, as vivid as it is varied. Cleverly conceived, elegantly executed and beautifully written… this book has the potential to become one of the great classics of literary erotica.”

And this:

“This is a very dark and disturbing story… It’s just gross. I regret reading this.”

What do readers make of this? How do they decide for themselves who to listen to? As a reader myself, I rely on reviews to guide me, and the more reviews there are, the easier it is for me to decide whether or not to press that BUY button.

So this blog is a CALL TO ACTION. I’d love everyone who reads erotica regularly to commit to reviewing at least three erotic novels a year. That’s not too much to ask.  And return I’m running a competition to encourage reviews on my own work on Amazon. The competition runs from 1  – 28 February 2014 (one month) and every Amazon Verified Purchase review written on one of my stories(either on KNOCK,  NEVER or POE) will go into the draw to win your name as the hero or heroine of my next erotic short story.

If you use a nickname for reviewing, be sure to include your real Christian name in your review so I know what it is.

I’m excited about this, and feel quite sure that the name itself will conjure all sorts of erotic imaginings for me. This isn’t a cut and paste. I’ll be creating a new story from scratch, starting with your name.

So jump out there and review!

And please accept my heartfelt gratitude for taking the time. It’s very much appreciated!

Best of 2012 Erotica

What a thrill to discover that my novel NEVER and short story POE have both made it into Erotica for the Big Brain‘s BEST OF 2012 list. In honour of that I’d like to share some images of home grown (Aussie) hunks who have inspired my writing over the years – actors, models and unsung heroes:

liam-hemsworth-topless  HeathLedger  TravisFimell  Chris-Hemsworth-chris-hemsworth  international-aussie  russell-crowe-actor2  Hugh-Jackman  DavidWenham  Bana-3-eric-bana  Simon-simon-baker  Keith Urban  Alex-O-Loughlin-alex-oloughlin

No wonder Aussie erotic authors are so inspired!